I had a longing today. One I haven’t had in a long time. A longing for a “Call To Adventure” – a quest for fame, for purpose. To go, to do, start over. To start over on an adventure.

It has been a while since I had it. It has also been a while since I’ve sung in the car. They might be related. They might not.

I started to think about the places I’d go. Washington or Oregon. Where there’s tall evergreens and cold oceans. I thought about the people I’d meet, the new friends that would enrich my life, the co-questers for my adventure… Continue reading

“Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.”

– Albert Einstein

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

I don’t know

I stare at an emotion chart trying to define this malady that is gnawing at me. Gnawing at my soul, stealing my joy. Names like Vulnerable, Empty, and Apathetic all seem to call up different creatures. The same with Inadequate, Anxious, and Overwhelmed. I look deeper.

The hollowness pushes outward, threatening to sublime my structure into vapor. A metric to define this, to have power over it. This void defies me as it swallows me whole.

I probably just need some sleep.