The Life and Times of Me

The Adventures of Fredy the Flea; Episode 1. “Fredy the Flea vs. the Ninja Grocer”

We find our hero where, well, we didn’t leave him. Instead we find him wrestling with a jar of jam. Raspberry jam. Our short, orange flea loves his raspberry jam. Frustrated, our hero ponders how to open his jam. He envisions a feat of grandeur involving a bottle, a cat, and the mob But not a stupid flea, he wonders how he is going to get the knife in the jar if the jar is all over his kitchen. So he choose to use his super power, human strength!

Walking to his pantry to find the catalyst for his normal strength, orange soda, nothing happens. Only after opening the pantry he finds out that he has no orange soda! As a rather lazy flea, it is the love of raspberry jam compels him to put on his jacket and walk to his friendly neighborhood grocery store.

Meanwhile, in a secret underground lair, Fredy’s arch-nemesis was planning a plan of how to rid the world of the “menace” of Fredy the flea. The Great Alflonzo got on his 52′ communicator plasma TV screen (like all super villians he is rich) and contacted an agent in the same area as Fredy.

“Agent, your mission is to infiltrate the friendly neighborhood grocery store and eliminate Fredy the flea. Do it as any way you feel fit.”

The agent attacked and tied up the customer-service guru of a grocer and took his apron. In walks Fredy and decides to small talk with the grocer.

“Hello friendly grocer, how is the family?”

To Fredy’s surprise the grocer answers the question with a scream; “Ninja Grocer Attack!”

Flipping off the Cheerios and crashing a mop on Fredy’s head the ninja caught our hero off guard. An epic battle ensued, mostly composed of the Fredy running away and the ninja’s battle cry. Luckily for Fredy, a little old lady saw the commotion and phoned the sheriff. The ninja was arrested and Fredy got his soda.

Walking back in to his kitchen, he sees his little sister with an empty jar of raspberry jam. So he sets his soda in his pantry and walks back to the store.

As Christmas rolls even closer, I know that the new year is not far away. That means that it is time to reflect on the past years. I need the help of my readers, because I am trying to remember all the cool sayings that we either heard or made up in the past year.

1. “You see, the differnce between chocolate and vanilla ice cream is that chocolate doesn’t go with green beans”

2. “What the random shoe?”

3. “I keep my bubble in my pocket until I am alone.”

4. “Isn’t that illegal?”

Well, it has been a been a while since I have updated, but it has given me time to think about what to say.

Last night was Katie’s suprise birthday party. A weird night with a couch that was… well… weird. That is all I am really going to say about that. And that “I have no bubble!”

Today was a long day, I left my house around 8:30 and didn’t get back until around 10:00. I got to play in church, and that is always the best. We didn’t get to do “O Praise Him (All for a King)” which would of made my day. But worship was great. Vanessa was there, and when I grow up, I want to be just like her.

After church we went to Toulumne to ‘canavas’ the neighborhood with flyers for the Mini-VBS that we are going to have there tomorrow. Which was a lot of fun, I hung out with Erin Gray and almost got backed into when my youth pastor’s wife was driving. We ended up having pizza and learning how Erin Gray meet here boyfriend. Then getting into a spittball fight. And I learned that having a pitcher of ice spilled on you pizza cools it down very fast.

I took Meghan home and Andrew did something that he needs to post about. Then Andrew and I went to get my game from Steven’s house, but he wasn’t there. We now had a quest. Through sly detective skills learned from the great master Sherlock Holmes, we found out were he was going. We ended up finding him at the Seven Day Adventist Church building being occupied by his church.(I havn’t gotten my game back yet). We stayed there for the Christmas program that they were having and a little afterwards. I met new friends, made some new friends into normal friends, and saw old friends that I haven’t seen in ages. It was fun.

Have you ever had the feeling that you weren’t really where you think that you are. I will try to explain this feeling that I have had more than once. I usual am driving and just get this feeling that I am sitting on a hospital bed in an upper floor looking out in to the distance, not really seeing. I am eighty years old, gray and small.  And the me that is driving is just a delusion of some sickness that has affected my memory, that I am really living my twenteth year as a flash-back. Or even worse, just something made up.

I think it stems from the feeling, notion, impression that God has something great for my life. The sensation is so great sometimes that it just scares me. I don’t know why it scares me, I can tell when other people hope in me, and see my future greatness. I don’t know why mediocristy is something that I long for. I just don’t know.

Tonight was our youth group’s Christmas party. It was okay. We had worship, and of course, I played. Who else is better than me? And worship was good the last two songs for me worship wise, and worship was great musicaly because we had a drummer. I missed having a drummer. We also had a white Elephant gift thing and I got a Sponge Bob air freshner. Not really a white elephant because my car stinks sometimes.

Earlier in the day I got to go snowboarding. Just thought that I would put that out there.

Now for the deep stuff…