Monday December 22, 2003

Well, it has been a been a while since I have updated, but it has given me time to think about what to say.

Last night was Katie’s suprise birthday party. A weird night with a couch that was… well… weird. That is all I am really going to say about that. And that “I have no bubble!”

Today was a long day, I left my house around 8:30 and didn’t get back until around 10:00. I got to play in church, and that is always the best. We didn’t get to do “O Praise Him (All for a King)” which would of made my day. But worship was great. Vanessa was there, and when I grow up, I want to be just like her.

After church we went to Toulumne to ‘canavas’ the neighborhood with flyers for the Mini-VBS that we are going to have there tomorrow. Which was a lot of fun, I hung out with Erin Gray and almost got backed into when my youth pastor’s wife was driving. We ended up having pizza and learning how Erin Gray meet here boyfriend. Then getting into a spittball fight. And I learned that having a pitcher of ice spilled on you pizza cools it down very fast.

I took Meghan home and Andrew did something that he needs to post about. Then Andrew and I went to get my game from Steven’s house, but he wasn’t there. We now had a quest. Through sly detective skills learned from the great master Sherlock Holmes, we found out were he was going. We ended up finding him at the Seven Day Adventist Church building being occupied by his church.(I havn’t gotten my game back yet). We stayed there for the Christmas program that they were having and a little afterwards. I met new friends, made some new friends into normal friends, and saw old friends that I haven’t seen in ages. It was fun.

Have you ever had the feeling that you weren’t really where you think that you are. I will try to explain this feeling that I have had more than once. I usual am driving and just get this feeling that I am sitting on a hospital bed in an upper floor looking out in to the distance, not really seeing. I am eighty years old, gray and small.  And the me that is driving is just a delusion of some sickness that has affected my memory, that I am really living my twenteth year as a flash-back. Or even worse, just something made up.

I think it stems from the feeling, notion, impression that God has something great for my life. The sensation is so great sometimes that it just scares me. I don’t know why it scares me, I can tell when other people hope in me, and see my future greatness. I don’t know why mediocristy is something that I long for. I just don’t know.

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