Monthly Archives: February 2011

The Wayfaring Vagrant and his Distant Love

Things have changed. I can’t tell you how, but something is different between us. It’s not the same anymore.

You were my future. I left my past for you, but you didn’t welcome me. I was stuck in limbo – striving to be with you and not wanting to be where I came from – I was stuck in the present.

You were my shining light, my perfect, my dream; I was going to be made complete with you. I was your fulfillment, your guardian, your guide. You were the lighthouse and I was the sea captain. I was the vagabond and you the light in the window guiding me home.

But here I am, stalled in the path, bobbing in the water; something has changed.

Future, it was me.

The path set before me is not quite as short as I thought. Or as quite as specific. I realize the forest is not as foreboding as before. The trees are not things to be avoided. I can leave the path and explore. Make my own trails. The sheltered coves and harbors are just starting places. The oceans of possibilities have opened up before me like a map, with shoreline to fill in.

Future, I’m not married to you. I’ve said no vows. I am not bound to you. You are not the only one out there. My destiny is not written in stone, but is a path through a wood.

And you’re not the path I’m taking.

The Daddy God

Daddy. Papa. Abba. These are all names that I’ve heard people use when praying to God. And all names that I didn’t use.

It’s probably because it was a God I didn’t know.

But I’m getting to know Him.

The 20th of February

Today started at 3:30am. It must have been something I dreamt, but I do know the sorrow and the emotional pain was enough to wake me. And in my distress it took a long time to restore my sanity and get back to sleep.

The rest of the day went up and down, with the highest points being that two people got prayer and God healed their physical bodies.

Let’s see what the 21st brings.