I came on here to write about how application is so important, but then I saw that my last (last real) blog post was about that. So I’m just going to wing it.
Life is different. I would say sucky, but that would nullify the good that’s been going on. This week I’ve gone on two bike rides and they both were amazing. I’ve found a group of guys that ride mountain bikes regularly and I really look forward to relearning that. I am excited about getting a new bike and taking it to CA this summer and riding with my friends.
Schools been amazing and I just really love God. I just want to spend my days aware of his presence and just get drunk at work, but I just forget that being in his presence is something that I can do.
[A quick side note: the word “but” is a very mean word. If you use it to join two clauses, it basically says “everything I said before doesn’t count and this is what I really mean”. Just FYI.]
Walking out the life style of a revivalist is quite difficult. I struggle in wavering with the knowledge that God knows me and chose me and is crazy-in-love with me, much less realize that He feels that way about people on the street, and harder yet, people I work with.
People that have annoyed me.
People who have hurt me.
People I see every day.
There is just an easy of when your talking to someone who is nice and friendly on the street and you know you’re never going to see them again. Praying isn’t as scary, and if a healing doesn’t happen, it’s much easier to let it slide.
Life is just different now. The group of friends that I had this time last year, aren’t the friends that I’m hanging out with now. I just have different goals and a different future (and that’s not just some excuse or lie that I’m telling myself to cover up some hurt). Restoring relationships is hard, but I think it would be unwise to just throw out something that I’ve invested so much time in. The relationship is still fixable, and I’m working on it.
It’s just that it’s flippin’ hard. But I’m not giving up, it’ll take some time.
Now pardon me, as I’m going to go spend some time with God.