Friday September 17, 2004

I am kind of nervous, I don’t know how I am going to do on the paper I just turned in. I did great on the last one, an A+, but this one I am not sure. It is double spaced so I don’t know how it will look on xanga.

Mom vs The Salesman

The doorbell rings.

“Honey , will you go and see who that is?” Suzann said to her eight year old daughter.

“Do I have to?” she asked. “Can’t Heather do it? My T.V. show just started.”

“Heather is doing her homework and I am giving your brother a bath. Amy, will you just go and see who is at the door?”

A minute later Amy came back to the kitchen and said, “A man is at the door.”

“What does he want?”

“To speak to the head of the household.”

Quickly drying off her son, she wrapped him up in a towel and went to go see who was at the door with the baby in her arms. She opened the door to a man dressed in a suit having a color that was a cross between avocado and lime green. It was creased in all the wrong spots from being in a suitcase. Looking past the man she saw his car in her driveway: an ’88 Cadillac, white with gold trim. Bringing her eyes back to the man with his overly friendly grin and gelled hair, she noticed he was carrying a large box.

“Hello ma’am. A lovely day today, is it not? I have here a product that you will…” The man didn’t get a chance to continue due to the loud yelling heard from the living room.

“Mom!” Amy whined as she walked up to Suzann. “Josh hit me and he took the remote and now he won’t give it back! I am missing my show!”

Suzann slowly turned from her daughter to the salesman, “I am sorry, but I don’t have time to hear your pitch now.”

Suzann with the baby still in her arms, walked in to the living room. “Josh you are ten, that is too old to hit your sister! Go to your room. Amy!” she said turning her attention from one to the other. “You have been watching too much T.V. today. You go out side and play. Now not a word from either of you.”

As both marched out of the room, she turned to see the salesman pulling an odd contraption out of the box.

“What are you doing here?”she was perplexed by his presence in her living room.

“I thought this would be the perfect time saving device for a busy lady as yourself, it is a special T.V./microwave/computer, and it is much needed in this world moving to connectivity thoughout the house…”

“Mom!” He was interrupted again, this time by another daughter at the top of the stairs.

“What Katie?” The weariness of the day was beginnings to show on Suzann’s face.

“Heather is on the phone and I am supposed to call Darren about Friday night!”

“Katie you are only 14, you know that you aren’t allowed to date until you are 16. Now take your brother and get him in some pajamas and put him in his bed with a bottle.” Now she felt she could focus her whole attention on getting rid of the unwanted guest in her living room

“Now ma’am,” the words came out with the fluidity and speed of much practice. “You look like the type of person that goes to a weekly LAN party. This baby will be the envy of every LAN party in the whole county. You will be the most popular person there, cooking a snack, watching the news and fragging your opponent. I bet…” The loud thumping of bass is what interrupted this time.

“Please get out of my living room.” Suzann said to the man who set up shop in her house. She left the room only after the salesman started to pack up his wares. She walked up stairs to the third door on the right; the one with the sign that was buzzing in time with the bass. Suzann took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Then she took another because the first one didn’t work too well.

“Heather,” she said knocking. “Can you turn that music off? Your brother is trying to sleep.” The music turned off.

A muffled “What?” emitted from the other side.

“Turn the music off.” Suzann said trying to keep her tone in check. “Your brother is sleeping”


“Not buts! Turn it off!”

“We can’t have any fun in this house! I am going to Sonja’s.” Heather pushed her way past her mother and ran out the door.”

Tired at this stressful day she walked down to the kitchen to start on dinner, but the salesman was taking up her precious counter space.

“See, you can eat and surf the web at the same time.” He pulled a Pizza Pocket out of the machine.

Suzann gave up. She slumped in to a chair, hung her head between her hands, and asked, “If I buy one, will you go away?”

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