Category Archives: Life

State of Affairs

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I came on here to write about how application is so important, but then I saw that my last (last real) blog post was about that. So I’m just going to wing it.

Life is different. I would say sucky, but that would nullify the good that’s been going on. This week I’ve gone on two bike rides and they both were amazing. I’ve found a group of guys that ride mountain bikes regularly and I really look forward to relearning that. I am excited about getting a new bike and taking it to CA this summer and riding with my friends.

Schools been amazing and I just really love God. I just want to spend my days aware of his presence and just get drunk at work, but I just forget that being in his presence is something that I can do.

[A quick side note: the word “but” is a very mean word. If you use it to join two clauses, it basically says “everything I said before doesn’t count and this is what I really mean”. Just FYI.]

Walking out the life style of a revivalist is quite difficult. I struggle in wavering with the knowledge that God knows me and chose me and is crazy-in-love with me, much less realize that He feels that way about people on the street, and harder yet, people I work with.

People that have annoyed me.

People who have hurt me.

People I see every day.

There is just an easy of when your talking to someone who is nice and friendly on the street and you know you’re never going to see them again. Praying isn’t as scary, and if a healing doesn’t happen, it’s much easier to let it slide.

Life is just different now. The group of friends that I had this time last year, aren’t the friends that I’m hanging out with now. I just have different goals and a different future (and that’s not just some excuse or lie that I’m telling myself to cover up some hurt). Restoring relationships is hard, but I think it would be unwise to just throw out something that I’ve invested so much time in. The relationship is still fixable, and I’m working on it.

It’s just that it’s flippin’ hard. But I’m not giving up, it’ll take some time.

Now pardon me, as I’m going to go spend some time with God.

The Application

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I love learning. I love understanding why something works. But there comes a point where you have to actually apply what you learned to your life and your situation. If you don’t, then what’s the point? I heard it said once, that if I don’t use the gifts and talents and privileges that are mine as a Christian, then all I am is just a practicing atheist.

I’ve spend more money on this six month school than I have for any other semester of schooling I’ve done, and if I don’t apply what I’ve learned, I am just wasting my time and my money.

Today has been a day of prayer. Japan got struck by two natural disasters in a row: first one of the top five recorded earthquakes, and second a tsunami 10 meters high. This is the news that I woke up to today, plus Hawaii and California had waves of unknown size headed their way. I have friends and love ones that live on the coast of those places. This all comes after a teaching on the prophetic last night that dealt with words of distraction AND A STORY OF AN EARTHQUAKE AND TSUNAMI. It made it very easy to apply the fresh lessons to my life. I would love to say that, due to my earnest prayer, that California and Hawaii remained mostly causality free. But I don’t know for sure, I do know that I tried.

Today had even more application, this time the spiritual warfare taught by Che Ahn from Tuesday. My friend is going through a really rough patch in his live and I know how to pray and how to speak life in his situation. But my knowledge does NOTHING for him if I don’t pray and act like I know to.

Go step out in faith, apply God to your situations and see where He will drop you (if he even does).

The Wayfaring Vagrant and his Distant Love

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Things have changed. I can’t tell you how, but something is different between us. It’s not the same anymore.

You were my future. I left my past for you, but you didn’t welcome me. I was stuck in limbo – striving to be with you and not wanting to be where I came from – I was stuck in the present.

You were my shining light, my perfect, my dream; I was going to be made complete with you. I was your fulfillment, your guardian, your guide. You were the lighthouse and I was the sea captain. I was the vagabond and you the light in the window guiding me home.

But here I am, stalled in the path, bobbing in the water; something has changed.

Future, it was me.

The path set before me is not quite as short as I thought. Or as quite as specific. I realize the forest is not as foreboding as before. The trees are not things to be avoided. I can leave the path and explore. Make my own trails. The sheltered coves and harbors are just starting places. The oceans of possibilities have opened up before me like a map, with shoreline to fill in.

Future, I’m not married to you. I’ve said no vows. I am not bound to you. You are not the only one out there. My destiny is not written in stone, but is a path through a wood.

And you’re not the path I’m taking.