Chapter 16: The Fence

Home is somewhere between here and there.

My friends are there, my family’s there, and I know everything and everyone. But there’s no peace, no place to rest, no… freedom there.

Here is my job, my house, my bed, my car. I can do what I want and when I want, but there’s no one to do it with. When I’ve been cooped up all day and I need to get out, there’s no one to go with, and I don’t even know what there is to do.

There life goes on without me, and here it hasn’t quite started.

/* Anyway, since this is my 100th post (yay me!), It’s going to be a little more scattered. */

Let me count up the hours of travel I’ve subjugated my body to this week…

Friday I drove 1 hour. Waited 2 hours. Flew 1 hour. Waited 2 hours. Flew 4 hours. Rode in a car 15 minutes.  Total time = 10:15

Saturday and Sunday, rode to Sonora and back. Total time = 5 hours.

Monday, rode in the car for 15 minutes, waited 2 hours, flew 1 hour, waited 30 minutes, flew 1 hour, waited 2 hours, flew 3 hours, drove 1 hour. Total time = 9:45.

Tomorrow, it’s off to London for the first time in 23 year. 23 years!!! I mean, I had a passport and was in a foreign country before my best friends were born. That’s just plain crazy to me and makes me feel really old. It doesn’t matter that I was only like 3 or 4 then, I still can remember it. Like the museum, the roman baths, the pigeons, the palace, the super cool knight village thing, the tea…

Here’s a passage from a book I was reading called Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card. It’s actually a quote from a made up book at the beginning of the chapter. I’m quoting a made up book in an actual book. Fakebook -> Realbook -> Blog -> Facebook. See? It all works out.

A great rabbi stands teaching in a marketplace. it happens that a husband finds proof that morning of his wife’s adultery and a mob carries her to the marketplace to stone her to death. (There’s a familiar version of this story, but a friend of mine, a speaker for the dead, has told me of two other rabbis that face the same situation. Those are the ones I’m going to tell you.)

The rabbi walks forward and stands beside the woman. Out of respect for him the mob forbears, and waits with the stones heavy in their hands. “Is there anyone here,” he says to them, “who has not desired another man’s wife, another woman’s husband?”

They murmur and say, “We all know the desire, but Rabbi, none of us have acted on it.”

The rabbi says, “Then kneel down and give thanks that God made you strong.” He takes the woman by the hand and leads her out of the market. Just before he lets her go, he whispers to her, “Tell the lord magistrate who saved his mistress, then he’ll know I am his loyal servant.”

So the woman lives, because the community is too corrupt to protect itself from disorder.

Another Rabbi, another city. He goes to her and stops the mob, as in the other story and says, “Which of you is without sin? Let him cast the first stone.”

The people are abashed, and they forget their unity of purpose in the memory of their own individual sins. Someday they think, I may be like this woman, and I’ll hope for forgiveness and another chance. I should treat her the way I wish to be treated.

As soon as they open their hands and let the stones fall to the ground, the rabbi picks up one of the fallen stones, lifts it high over the woman’s head, and throws it straight down with all his might. It crushes her skull and dashes her brains on to the cobblestones.

“Nor am I without sin,” he says to the people, “but if we allow only perfect people to enforce the law, the law will be dead, and our city with it.” So the woman dies because her community was too rigid to endure her deviance.

The famous version of this story is noteworthy because is is so startling rare in our experiences. Most communities lurch between decay and rigor mortis, and when they veer too far, they die. Only one rabbi dared to expect us such perfect balance that we could preserve the law and still forgive the deviation, so, of course, we killed him.

The Journey of an Expat

This is my first post from a strange land.

I am an expat. It’s the first time I’ve tried to put how I feel down on paper, and it sums up like this:

I am here.

I am – there’s no way around it. There’s no denying that I am not far from home, far from the land that raised me up and trained me.

I am me. I am a creature of the wood. I am a creature of the mountains. I am a creature of the lakes and streams and ocean. My bones are hard as granite bones of the mounts and my muscle is the color of the clay the fleshes the hills. My nose is full of the grass, green in the spring, gold in the summer. My tongue tastes the snow and the summer scent of dried pine needles and hot evergreens. Limestone caves, marble monoliths, towering trees, waiting waters are the adenine, cytosine, guanine, and thymine that store my genetic make-up. But being transplanted from my natural habitat and left to fend for myself – the defenses and weapons I have mastered and engrained into me no longer seem apt.

I am here. Far from me. Far from all that is familiar, far from all that is friendly, far from all that is family. In the foreign land where the very trees are hostile. Where the deer are small and form large herds. The semaphores are on wires and are yellow, and sometimes mounted sideways. The Walmart is huge, arranged different, and doesn’t have any good carts. The hills are sad, and the trees don’t even seem to try to grow tall.

I am meant to be here. Silly, but true. It’s the little things that remind me that this is where my crazy God wants me to be. It’s a word here, or a word there from people I know hear from God. These little words, they are these tiny answer to my questions. And it seems that there is something here that I’m supposed to learn, something that I’m supposed to get, something that is further going to define who I am and who He wants me to be. And there something here that I am going to impart.

I am the only me there is. No one else is me. I have years of training. Years of being poured into. Years of sitting under people who love the Lord.  Chapel in the Pines, Rivers of Life, City Ministries, Over the Edge, Rock the Nations, Mexico Trips, Redding, the SHOP, The Call, Joint Youth Trips, Leader Retreats, Rafting Trips, Late Night Talks, County Wide Worship Nights, Night Strikes, Thursday Night Worship Practice,  and IHOP are the amino acids of muscles in my spirit.

I am not here to spread the gospel of Tuolumne County. Nor am I here to further the reach of Chapel in the Pines. It’s not on the SHOP’s behalf I come.

I am here for here.

I am here for now.

I am here to see what God has planned for the little Podunk town.

I am an Expat and I am here.

The Grand Canyon!

So instead of stopping in Williams like I originally planned, I decided to continue to the closer hotels just outside the park entrance. I’ll save me an hour and half tomorrow driving, which will be nice. Then I can spend more time looking and walking around.

So here’s what I did so far on my journey.

I left town midday on Monday, after having breakfast with the Cooks, saying good bye to the office again, getting my car washed, and getting a replacement nalgene bottle. I drove and drove and drove some more, but then I realized that I had to drive quite a way further in the over all scheme of my trip, so why should I just put up with having my front wheels unbalanced? So I took a detour in Fresno to Big O tires and said “What the hay,” and got four new tires.

Then I remember getting tires is like being locked in prison for an hour half and then paying almost four hundred dollars to get out. Sure your car rides like a dream but was it really worth it? I guess so, since I did need new tires and Walmart made me sign something saying that they aren’t responsible if I die from lack of tread when they changed my oil on Saturday.

Then it was back on the road again and spent the night in Bakersfield.

Today I woke up and was on the road and here are some pictures:

Plant

California Desert

GPS

Some Giant Ball

Mountains in Arizona

Snow

SNOW! At the Grand Canyon there’s more snow than at home. It’s crazy and kind of refreshing.

Well, I’m off to find some food to eat. Later!