Tuesday June 14, 2005


You ask for sweet tea and they tell you that you can sweeten your own tea.

When a waitress asks what you want to drink and you say Coke, she asks “We Don’t have coke, we have pepsi, root beer, dr. pepper…”

“Hella” is a word.

Modesto is known as “MoTown”

You know the difference between a meth head, tweaker, and a stoner.

A first grader can put you to shame with your mama jokes.

You drive forty minutes when you and your friends want some Krispy Kremes.

Your choices for eating out are Mexican, Chinese, and fast food.

When the Goverment started telling people to stock up on duck tape, you did nothing.

You see people smoking right next to the sign that says, by law smoking is prohibited with in twenty feet of any entrance. And the sign is right next to the door.

Walmart is the hangout place.

You greet people with ‘whats up?’ and they respond with ‘nothing’ even if they are on the way to the hospital.

You know what a ‘dawg’ is.

You know people who consider a six pack quality entertainment.

The directions to your house include “… and that is a gravel road…”

Your wallet is on a chain but your dog isn’t.

You wonder why it always snows on Thanksgiving but never on Christmas.

Half of your town shuts down for one inch of snow and the other half drives like crazy.

You have at least three state parks within 30 minutes of your house.

You yell out the window of your car at least once a trip. If you didn’t you didn’t really go anywhere.

You wonder how the shopping cart got three miles from the store.

Everyone grows tomatoes.

8 thoughts on “Tuesday June 14, 2005

  1. Ducky1

    that is so awesome!

    no one drinks tea here. except green tea. or Island sun, which is legally not tea. it’s sugar water. with something else in it.
    the coke thing is true here.
    no one says hella. they all say f*** with various attachments. even old ladies.
    town is on the other side of the mountains, which also happens to be about fifteen minutes away.
    marijuana is pretty much old news here. ice is the big thing. ice= crystal meth
    a first grader can fry your brains with his bad mouth.
    you call your aunty on maui if you want crispy cremes. but they’re stale by the time they get here, so you go to safeway instead usually.
    your choices for eating out are EXTREMELY broad. though most people get plate lunch.
    two types of people: obsessive asians who are still trying to eat all their y2K provisions and local folk who ask how to spell it. (OUCH! that was mean…)

    ok… this is depressing… I give up…



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