Overdramatic warning is still overdramatic, and still in effect (I talk about poop). 

So I realized that my last post kinda left my readers with no follow up nor a status update. And if you are some amazing reader who isn’t a friend on Facebook and has the magical power to not be tracked by website analytics, you might actually have thought I died.

I am not dead and I’m all better.

There is some clarification I want to make. My roommate’s girlfriend came up to me yesterday and said the words that always make me feel odd: “I read your blog today”. I mean, I totally write blog posts to be read. And I totally want to hear that you read my blog. But some how, in the mix between the Interwebs and IRL kinda feels off.

Anyway, my roommate’s girlfriend said something like “you pooped. Good job.” Her feedback (truly helpful and much wanted) made me aware that I didn’t paint a good enough word picture with the phrase “evacuate everything in my system”. Maybe if I added a few more modifier words like “violently.” “Explosively.” Maybe something like “liquified” to describe which one of the three physical states of matter my fecal matter was in. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t fun. I’m sorry if I misled you with the nonchalance of returning to lunch after doing so (I washed my hands really, really well).

Another point that I want to bring up that I’m afraid might have been missed what that I actually saw chewed up lettuce in the toilet bowl. I really needed to chew better.

So, Andrew, does this happen much to you? No. But why it happens is pretty unusual, at least in my experiences. This normally isn’t something that is water cooler sort of talk in the workplace. I’m just doing my part of spreading the word, cause you know, knowledge is power and stuff.

Allergies.

Yes, I get allergies so bad that I have diarrhea. At least that’s what I think. Cause it’s happened before. Or it’s what I think happened before. It get’s a little fuzzy but the logic’s there.

So allergies, they make your nose run. But have you ever had the snot run down the back of your throat instead of out of your nose? It’s called post-nasal drip and it’s a real thing. Due to post-nasal drip, I’ve had sore throats. I’ve had upset stomachs. It’s quite possible (and probable) that it’ll just keep spreading its reign of terror further as it marches down my intestinal track on some mucus warpath (I’m not overly dramatic at all…).

I also learned that if your intestines feel that there’s something really bad in them, they just say “Screw this, we’ll start over” and simply flush everything down the toilet. Hehe. Toilet. So being irritated by the mucus and such, provoked by my poor eating choices in the morning, and put over the edge by filling my stomach with cold food, my intestines did just that.

But now I’m all better.