God and grief

I heard the most outrageous thing. I heard someone say that a 3-month-old served his purpose on Earth and was taken back to Heaven.  The problem I have with that statement is that it makes God out to be kinda a dick. He lets the parents have their son, who fulfills his purpose in 3 months, then the kid is out of there. Sounds great for God and the son, but where does that leave the parents? Did they not love their son? Did they not have hopes and dreams for him when he grew up? Does God not care about the feelings of the parents, siblings, and other family members, just cause He knew better and it’s not His fault the parents loved their son? That is truly a dick move, no matter who’s doing it.

“But Andrew, God is always in control…” Is He? Other people who are much smarter than me have a lot to say on the Sovereignty of God (a quick google search pulled up this link, but also do some of your own research on it), and it seems like we are in control of our lives. We make decisions and live with the consequences. And when there are things that we can’t control, it makes us feel better to have someone to blame and/or relinquish control of our lives to. Saying “God is always in control” is a coping mechanism for the horrid truth that we live in a world where bad things happen. Stupid, bad things happen for no reason.

“But Andrew,” you say, “what about this such-n-such good thing that would have never happened if this bad thing didn’t happen? See, it’s all part of God’s plan. God did that bad thing for a good reason.”

I think you’re missing what’s really going on. God is a redeemer. He makes things better. He’s eternally optimistic and He loves you. God is good, God is love. God loves everyone. How can someone who is the definition of love cause bad things to happen?  To make things better? That just seems fucking stupid. He redeems things. He takes bad and makes it good. He doesn’t do bad so he can do good. Good things happen all the time without bad, why should He need to do bad to make good? Do you have to do something bad in order to do something good for someone else? Why don’t you steal someone’s car so you can buy them a new one and let me know if they like that better than you just buying them a new one right off the bat.

“But Andrew, what can I do to make them feel better if I can’t say it was all for a reason?”

It’s simple, just love on them. Show them empathy. God loves them, and love doesn’t hurt people. Don’t say that it does.

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