… in Texas. Or so it seems. I don’t know if it’s just me. It could just be God. It could be Texas.

I’m one of those people who likes for things just to be done. If something needs to be done, do it. Why wait? I have enough of a Type A personality that if God says to do something, then I do it. If you get it done now, you don’t have to worry about it later.

Maybe God acts different out here. Maybe this is a time in my life that he’s working on a different part of me with different tools. Maybe He’s giving me more of a head-up then before. “Hey, do this. But not now. I’ll tell you when.”

And it could be Texas too. There is much more of a culture of waiting on God here, or at least in the circles I run in. The church I’ve been attending has been building a church for 10 years. To me that seems like a really long time to building a church. But they have been happily doing it (Though now since they are so close to getting in the excitement has been building and everyone “can’t wait” to get in there. Think Christmas Eve style impatience).

And today at church, the speaker (this guy) spoke and it was just what I’ve been hearing and learning. (Another aside: It used to be that Church would bring something to my attention, then I’d have to deal with it during the week, but since being here, I would be dealing with something, God will tell me about it and how to fix it, then Church would just confirm it. It’s been different. Pretty cool but different). What I’ve been learning lately is that long term vision will defeat stress and anxiety.

Think of it this way. If you know that you are going to do something, and you know that God said that you are going to do something, why should it stress you out? Didn’t God say it? It’s like a problem gets you so focused on what’s not happening, or this thing that is happening, that your start thinking in your own strength. I need to do X to make Y happen, I need Z to happen before I can do W. I can’t see a way how to do X or make Z happen. What ends up happening is that I find my thoughts and mind just forgets about God. Everything ends up being about my strength and my might. And God tends not to give tasks or vision that you can do on your own.

Here’s a quote from a wise man:
“It’s the process. If you’re in a hurry you’ll not celebrate the process. The end suddenly is not what you need, it’s the process. if you don’t value process, you won’t experience the end suddenly.”

And that’s what I’m thinking about and living.

I love twitter. There, I just came out and said it.

Now, I don’t love everything about it; I love the skill it takes to capture the grandeur of what you are feeling and your emotions and almost masochistically cut and edit to fit in the painfully small 140 characters you’re given and have it still inspire and convey.

And as someone who loves words it’s a great place to just use them. Today I used “abhor”. When was the last time you used that word? It’s just fun! It conveyed the extreme disgust that I felt with only two more characters than “hate”.

I love that the limit makes you really prune down what you want to say. Sure if I used the shorthand “h8”, I could fit four more character and get another sentence or two in (especially if I use more shorthand). But then I’m trying to say too much. If I find myself wanting to do that, I force myself to think how else I can articulate this emotion and thought. Do I really need to say this word? Can I move this here and still have it mean the same thing? Things like that make twitter fun.

I’ve been having crazy dreams lately. They’ve all been long or very full, mixing the silly and mundane with parts that I won’t tell anyone. In fact, every dream I can remember has a part that is just strange and I can tell anyone and a part that is not. Maybe the strange is there to remind me of the other part. What it all means, I haven’t a clue.

Like what does it mean when Lexie Quirie is making a giant pie in the back yard of our office? Not a big, round pie, but a pie dish in the shape of a slice of pie that’s eight feet long? And I really don’t know Lexie that well (I do think she’s pretty cool and wish I had hung out with her and her family more before I moved).

Or what do you make of a dream featuring adults riding heely shoes down my parents driveway when it’s pouring down rain?

Or when your fighting for your life and the lives if every one else in the house and you need someone’s help to finish off the intruders and they are too scared too and are cleaning up the dishes and putting away the food from a taco dinner?

What does it all mean? I should probably lay off the ice cream right before bed.

Or maybe eat more and see how deep we can go…