A year ago, I kissed my girlfriend goodbye and pointed my car south. Driving what was familiar for the day, then heading into unknown territory for the next few days, then the rest of the year. It was my first road trip and the start of a new adventure.

Then today, I left with a hug to my friend and driving west. With a view of the fog covered San Joaquin valley in front of me and snow covered mountains in my rearview mirror, some worship on the radio and rolling grass covered hills all around me, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the landscape and started thinking about this year and all that has happened.

And I got hopeful for this next year.

With that said, it was a good vacation.

This year has been a hard year. It has been a lonely year. It’s a year that I am glad it’s coming to an end.

I left my family. I left my friends. I left the mountains and the trees that have raised me. I came to a foreign land and proceeded to learn a lot about myself and God.

I learned about who I was, what I need, what I can do without, and who God is.

I’ve learned a lot – and most of it was the hard way. Sure, knowing a theological truth is easy. Living that same theological truth is harder. And when you’re in the place where it’s just you, God, the theological truth, and the contrasting circumstances in the world – it gets hard.

How much can you do trust God? How can you take a simple decision, and a simple truth and apply it in a situation that is screaming that what God said isn’t true. It would be an understatement to say that it is easy.

But, I can tell there is a shift in the atmosphere. I can feel it. This next year will be different. And I’m looking forward to it.

I don’t understand this “waiting” thing. Is waiting doing nothing? How do I wait? What does waiting look like? Can someone show me? It is something that I need to be learning. That I am learning. Well, learning might actually be an overstatement. I’m attempting to understand the mere existence of the action of “waiting”.

And I’m finding out that I don’t know how.

I want to do something, anything, anything that is an action. I want to work towards what God has told me, what He has promised me. But, He has said not yet. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t accept that waiting, is well, doing nothing. I have to do something.

I’ll pray.