It is back. Stronger. I pace now. I look at pictures. I take out my camera and look through it. I sit back down. It is still there. I look at more pictures online. The music that I hear feed it. I long to stand alone, looking at a sunset, facing a nation. I almost cry with the feeling welling up inside of me. It hurts. I need to go and satisfy it, but I can’t. There is no way I can stand it. I read my bible, it is still there, stronger. I must go… but I can’t.