I am so tired. These past three days I haven’t gone to bed before 12:30, and getting up at 7. And working. And being a little sick.

Katie’s party was fun, I got a snickers bar and a braclet. I got her a braclet for her birthday. I made it. I watched Neapolian Dynamite. Pretty good. It is more fun to quote the movie than to watch it. ‘gosh’. Um, watched Elf, and Katie doing this, 

then this,

It was gross. She and KC ate all of it.

Tonight was the christmas party at church. I won a cd at a crossword. And I am bad at cross words. We had a white elefante gift thing. I forgot mine. But I still got one. A golf ball, a big bouncy ball, a hackie sack, and antanna topper.
Um… Oh, Andrew’s family got me a present too, a basket with laundry stuff in it. I need to get some more soap and bleach, but now I don’t.
I am to tired to think of anything else right now.

It is back. Stronger. I pace now. I look at pictures. I take out my camera and look through it. I sit back down. It is still there. I look at more pictures online. The music that I hear feed it. I long to stand alone, looking at a sunset, facing a nation. I almost cry with the feeling welling up inside of me. It hurts. I need to go and satisfy it, but I can’t. There is no way I can stand it. I read my bible, it is still there, stronger. I must go… but I can’t.

It is back. The feeling…

Anyway, I had quite a bit of fun yesterday. I played in church, went to a fashion show, played a little halo 2, and went to Katie’s for a birthday party. Josh fell asleep when we were praying for Katie. See..

I watched that one movie…. I forgot its name. And eBay is a dangerous place. Looking at the camera that I want with two lens, for a thousand bucks. I wanted to click the buy it now button. I had to get away.

I wish I could go back…